Wednesday, 28 May 2014

Life of Ryan

Once upon a Saturday morning. 

Single Daisy Flower

10 November 2001, only hours after leaving my job on the Friday evening to start my maternity leave, I gave birth to my second son. For the previous nine months I had convinced myself that I was having a girl. I already had a wonderful son Owen and a little girl would complete our small family perfectly. I didn't even have a boy's name picked, so when the midwife congratulated my disgustingly easily labour and invited me to say hello to my beautiful new son my first reaction was total shock and my first words were (yes I am almost embarrassed to say) "I didn't order a boy, I am having a girl, her name is Megan. Can you send him back?" Of course this shock only lasted a matter of seconds for the moment the midwife placed him in my arms I was hooked to this utterly gorgeous bundle of tiny awesomeness.

I can not pin-point the day or time exactly when I started to suspect that things were slightly a-miss, but very early on in Ryan's life I began to realise he was different somehow. Something was not quite right. I started to make notes in his red 'Personal Child Health Record' (PCHR) that is every new mum's Bible. Ryan's Development 'Firsts': Lifts head clear of ground - 16 weeks. Rolls over - 5 1/2 months. Sits with support - 5 1/2 months. Sits alone - 7 months. Crawled - 7 months. Stands holding on - 8 1/2 months. Walks holding on - 9 1/2 months. Walking confidently - 13 months.

All seems spot on so far, I didn't present any worries at his 6-9 month check although the health visitor did comment he took a long time to get through the hearing test. At his 2 year review I was worried! I commented in his PCHR "Very violent episodes - kicking and hitting, not during tantrum. Totally unprovoked. He seemed also to have his own little language. I can understand him, just, but no-one else could, not even his dad. The advice I was given on this occasion was to not worry, he is probably just a late developer. 

By his 3 and a half year check I was really concerned. He was very clumsy, had several falls, cuts, hospital visits, was (and still is) a very sickly child, not potty trained and still not speaking. Wouldn't speak at all to health visitor who again assured me he was just a late developer. His height and weight were consistently below average but I was told (yes, actually told) to stop being neurotic and attention seeking.

Real Mothers Quote

I was called neurotic and attention seeking on many more occasions to come too. 

This is our story of Ryan's journey of Autism and ultimately Cancer. Welcome to the ride of our lives. 

1 comment:

  1. Reminds me of the amused Doctor who laughed when I took my 3(?) year old and said she is not talking. He said "Count your lucky stars" and he was right. We stopped 'understanding' her grunts and arm waving, and within days she went straight in to full sentences. He was right again - she still hasn't stopped talking!


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