Skip to main content

Has Autism or Is Autistic?




Does Ryan have Autism, or is Ryan Autistic? That is the question.  Having Autism suggests an illness, something that can be medicated or even cured. Having Autism indicates an illness or condition that has occurred during Ryan’s life or something he has caught.

A friend has depression. She wasn’t born with it. It is something that has occurred and she takes medication to help manage her condition.  Dadi Skilts has Type 1 Diabetes. He wasn’t born with it; it is a condition that developed when he was 30 and he takes medication to manage his condition.

Now I would not say my friend is depressive, but I would say Dadi Skilts is diabetic and I would say and do say Ryan is Autistic.  I absolutely believe Ryan was born Autistic, it is not something that developed after he was born, which is why I choose to say Ryan is Autistic.  It is part of him, part of his ‘make-up’, part of who he is just as his brown hair or blue eyes, or being right or left-handed. 

The reason I say Dadi Skilts is Diabetic is that it has changed his make-up. It can’t be cured; it is now part of who he is. Those that have type 2 diabetes are different though because it can generally be cured with very careful management of diet and/or tablets.

Another question: Does one suffer from autism? Ryan finds life exceptionally difficult to cope with, he has certainly suffered from discrimination, bullying and abuse; but don’t we all suffer at some point in our lives?  I have Hypermobility syndrome. I have suffered and do suffer greatly from pain, injury and the abuse, bullying and disbelief that it is even a real problem/condition.  My friend I am sure would agree that she suffers from her depression. It can be truly debilitating and she has suffered dreadfully from stigma and ignorance of the condition.

From Ryan

Either sentence would work for me. It doesn’t bother me at all which either one is used to describe me. Do I suffer though? No. It is not a suffering. I don’t generally tell people about my Autism, because they don’t need to know, but if they want to know I will tell them. I didn’t know my friend was Jewish until we took him to McDonald's and he said he couldn’t eat pork. 






Comments

  1. Interesting concept well explained

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am so sorry I did not reply to your comment I have only seen it today for the first time. Thank you for your kind words. As always, I love Ryan's perspective on the topic.

      Delete
  2. I like your essay. My kid has Autism because I don't want to have him think he can't overcome some of the challenges. Unlike my son is 5'2". Can't be overcome. He would always be 5'2". Although my son will always have autism, it doesn't make him who he is. But it is a good discussion topic.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Holly for taking the time to read our blog and comments are always welcome. My own argument is flawed as I would say Ryan has blue eyes or brown hair and they are as much genetis as has autism. The aim of our blog is to get people talking about the subject and raising awareness. Thank you for joining our journey. x

      Delete
  3. I heard this on the bus the other day: "He has autism" - like it's some kind of disease. Maybe I've made the same mistake when describing my brother, but fact is, he is autistic, extremely so, and if it is a disease, it is incurable. But is it such a burden? A friend of mine has 4 kids, Fragile X, ADD, ADHD, behavioral disorders, autistic, aspergers, you name it, one or more of them have it. Do they "suffer" for it? No. One is a very popular and very talented singer/songwriter. Another is showing signs of being a talented artist. Another of being an actor or performer. They are the cutest kids I've ever met being brought up by a mum whose had all of what you've had with the authorities including the threat of having one or more taken off of her for being a "bad mother". She is successfully home schooling two of them and after being subjected to poor education in the mainstream, including being bullied, they are happy kids. Suffering? I think not. In fact, it's probably about time we started seeing those that are autistic as not "abnormal" but as people who fit into society in different way - they have just as much to give if not more - it's just that they don't fit into society in the way that others may see it. (Fiona Caroline Messenger)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What an fantastic comment Fiona, thank you. Really interesting thoughts and I absolutely agree everyone is different and fits into society in their own ways. Thank you for sharing your story.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Thanks for your comment. We appreciate having you along for the ride.

Popular Posts

Missing Education due to Illness

The Importance of Attendance If you read any news articles on education, correspondence from your child’s school, or are simply clued up on parenting then you will know the importance of school attendance. Schools place a great deal of focus on targets and will often offer incentives and competitions to encourage and increase attendance figures, but what if your child has a serious illness. What happens if they really are not well enough to attend school. What happens then? Attendance targets at Ryan's school are currently set at 95% attendance for the school year. Therefore realistically your child can only miss 10 school days due to illness. Medical appointments such as GP or Dentist do not count, but you are encouraged to make these appointments outside of the school day where feasibly possible. If your child consistently misses school, even if it is only one day a week, that equates to 39 days over the school year. Even missing one day in a week results in pressure on the

Questions to ask after Cancer diagnosis

Cancer Sucks I have shared with you Ryan's lymphoma journey where we have talked about the ups, the downs, the protocols for drugs, the side effects, but I realised recently I have never shared the questions. This post is all about what to ask when you receive a diagnosis of cancer. Receiving a cancer diagnosis is never ever going to be seen as good news. It can never be dressed up or made pretty. It is devastating, it is gut-wrenching, it is life-changing. There is so much information to process you will not think of the questions you need to ask or you will have hundreds of questions you want to ask all at once. These are just some of the questions you can ask once you have processed the news, in order to gain a better understanding of your fight ahead. General Information What type of cancer do I have? Where is it located? What are the risk factors for this disease? Is this type of cancer caused by genetic factors? Are other members of my family at risk? What lifestyle c

3 Years in Remission

  3 Years in Remission In May 2017 Ryan finished his 6 gruelling cycles of Chemotherapy and was in remission for 3 months before his cancer returned in September 2017. I wrote about our first 3 month cancer free milestone in our blog post here . In August 2020 Ryan once again finished treatment. This time he completed 3 years of Immunotherapy treatment and in November 2020 Ryan had tests done to confirm he is once again in remission. This is, of course, outstanding news but we were muted in any celebrations as it was such early days and we had been here once before. Ryan has been having regular check-ups every 3 months and in May 2021 we were able to confirm he has reached the 9-month milestone which was phenomenal news. Massive Scare - Relapse #3, ALMOST. Tuesday 4 October 2022. Ryan mentioned to me about an Ulcer on the roof of his mouth. I took photos and monitored for a couple of weeks before we start to panic too much.😳 Thursday 27 October 2022. Sadly Ryan has had to have yet a

Swansea Community Farm

Swansea Community Farm In April 2021 Ryan began volunteering at Swansea Community Farm (Welsh - Fferm Gymunedol Abertawe). For now, he attends one day a week on a Tuesday from 10 am to 4 pm but there is a possibility that he could also volunteer on Thursdays as well also 10 am to 4 pm. About the Farm Swansea Community Farm is the only city farm in Wales set in 3.5 acres of land with a variety of animals, an allotment, wildlife habitats, beehives and a café. The animals include donkeys, goats, sheep, ducks, geese and chickens. The farm aims to improve wellbeing, build skills and create a sense of community engagement by caring for the animals, producing local food and caring for the local environment. Duties Ryan has enjoyed a variety of different duties so far. He has walked the Donkeys, Sheep and Geese from their barns out to their fields and pond. Collected eggs from the Chickens, and has mucked out the donkey sheds. He has also cleaned out the chicken coops, cleaned and refilled all

NK/T-cell Lymphoma

Lymphoma Diagnosis August 2016 we received the gut-wrenching news that haematology consultants at Children's Hospital of Wales, Cardiff believed Ryan aged 14 had a rare form of Lymphoma, known only to Asian and Latin American populations of men over the age of 50. Up to this point Ryan had been ill for much of the preceding 2 years battling glandular fever that never improved and I battled with GPs to try and discover what was wrong.  Sometimes The Battle Chooses You There were still further tests that were needed, as the experts were baffled to see this cancer in a 14-year-old Western European Caucasian boy. We were given the confirmation diagnosis of EBV positive extra nodal NK/T-cell non-Hodgkin Lymphoma Stage 1, in September 2016. It is a bit of a mouthful literally as the lymphoma caused a soft tissue tumour to form in his throat. Steroid Chemotherapy commenced while planning began ready for 5 weeks of intense Radiotherapy before embarking on a six-month regime of SMI