There's a Panda in my Bellybutton

10 Things About Autism  1. Behaviour is communication. All behaviour occurs for a reason. It tells you, even when my words can't, how I perceive what is happening around me. Negative behaviour interferes with my learning process. But merely interrupting these behaviours is not enough; teach me to exchange these behaviours with proper alternatives so that real learning can flow. Start by believing this: I truly do want to learn to interact appropriately. No child wants the negative feedback we get from "bad" behaviour. Negative behaviour usually means I am overwhelmed by disordered sensory systems, cannot communicate my wants or needs or don't understand what is expected of me. Look beyond the behaviour to find the source of my resistance. Keep notes as to what happened immediately before the behaviour: people involved, time of day, activities, settings. Over time, a pattern may emerge. 2. Never assume anything . Without factual backup, an assumption is

I do not know who wrote this poem nor can I remember where I got it from. I do not try to take any credit for this work but would like to share it all the same.  I love this poem and read it often to help give me strength when times are tough. If anyone does recognise it or knows more about its origins I would be very interested.   Walk with me Walk with me my darling. I'm here to hold your hand Talk to me my darling. I'll try to understand. My hand you may not want to hold, words you cannot say But still I'll walk beside you, I am with you all the way. Children with special needs are born, I once heard someone say Only to those who have enough love to guide them on their way. Well I may not always get things right, but love I do have plenty You've taught me so much and without you, my life would be so empty. The world can be so cruel, to one who doesn't conform But remember that from difference, often brilliance is born. People tend to be afra

Autism So now we have established that Ryan is Autistic and has a particular type known as Asperger's.  Well what are Autism and Asperger's and how do they differ? If you have found this blog you may well already know the answers to these questions and I am certainly not trying to teach you to suck any proverbial eggs.  However, if you are at the start of your journey then I hope this post and blog are of some use to you and will be to help guide you on your way. I am not an expert or recognised Autism professional, but I have sought education and training, and now have several qualifications in addition to my own experience as a parent to better support Ryan. I have become a qualified teaching assistant in 2008 and since 2012 have worked as a Speech and Language Therapy Assistant with children in a speech and language communication unit; several of which are also on the spectrum so I do feel I am well placed to offer support. The following information is tak

That is pretty much my story told to date, But I am truly hoping not to abate. I have lots more to say on the subject, I hope that you will stay to connect. There is a lot more still to come, I hope you will enjoy at least some. Ryan has settled well into secondary school. He still has his moments, but hey who doesn’t.  He has an excellent support network around him. It has only taken me 8+ years to get to this point. I feel that I am finally beginning to really cope and understand.   He has two superb support workers in school and access to a well set up Speech and Language unit. He still has regular reviews and the option of EP & SaLT are available to him. He sees his paediatrician annually and as he matures is learning more of the ‘rules’ of social interaction and how to cope with the difficulties he faces as a result of being Autistic.  Ryan finds it very difficult to fit in with the world.  He does not like people and he feels that no one likes him.  I believe

Ryan continued to show signs of post traumatic stress disorder and was in close contact with a myriad of health professionals, but the good news was that he had finally gone through his assessment process for a statement and a proposed statement of education needs was issued in June 2010, when Ryan was eight years old. He asked me one day soon after starting year 4 in Sept 2010 if I knew what a ‘Marmington’ was? I admitted that I did not. He explained that it was a bald man, with white eyes and long fingernails from his nightmares. He continued to suffer with his sleep so his Melatonin was increased and a slow release version also given to help calm him. This worked for a short while but unfortunately Ryan was once again excluded from school for violent behaviour just before his 9 th birthday. His behaviour continued to prove erratic and he was finally given an opportunity to attend a program of social skills groups with the Speech and Language therapy team, which went

Day 1 Wednesday 13.1.2010 was not a usual Wednesday morning but it was similar  to recent days. Snow had been laying for over 3 weeks and we had another 5-8cm fall on Tuesday night so the Primary school was shut yet again due to dangerous roads & pavements and broken heating. My work was open however, so Dunk decided to work from home to look after boys and we decided there was little point dragging Owen up and out to trek Ryan across to his school as the conditions were not safe so we let them sleep in. I had a leisurely breakfast and left for work early as the roads were very slushy and icy. I got to work on time but very few children had yet made it to school so I put my bag and coat by and sat down to sort out the readers I was going to listen to that day; it was 9:05am and my phone rang. “oooppps, sorry Mrs H-P I forgot to put my phone on silent”. The actual phone conversation is somewhat hazy at this point by it went something like: Dunk – “COME HOME! VAN HIT HOUSE”

May 2008 Ryan, now six years old, completely trashed his classroom. This was the biggest most violent episode we have seen to this point. I started a food diary and once again turned my attentions to my suspicions that several food colourings, but particularly the preservative E211 Sodium Benzoate, seem to cause him to be extremely hyperactive. I paid for Ryan to have a full set of allergy tests done on Wednesday 25 June 2008. We found from those that Ryan has many intolerances to food, the worst of which is Gluten, closely followed by Wheat and all Dairy products. Also Oats, Barley, Oranges, and Yeast. I took this information to my GP as I wanted to request a more detailed assessment for behaviour due to recent developments in school. The GP however did not agree that food intolerances even exist let alone have any impact on behaviour. He did try a refer Ryan for a behaviour assessment but was told they would not see someone as young as Ryan. Unfortunately Ryan trashed his classro

There are only two times when I feel stressed:  Day and Night. This was the shape of things to come over the next 3 years. I spent more time at the school dealing with Ryan’s inability to cope and increasing violence (he had just turned 4) than I did at home. I was frightened every time the phone rang, dreading what had happened this time and became increasingly embarrassed each time I turned up at the school to find out what he had done this time. We were the 'English family' in a small rural Welsh village.  Everyone knows everyone and everyone talked about everyone.  Ryan had quickly become top gossip. Dadi Skilts & I slept on different shifts and often in different rooms as Ryan had no need for sleep. Sleep was for the weak. DS & I became a formidable tag team of good cop/bad cop and had to synchronise our cycles to be sure we didn’t PMT at the same time. (Permanently Meltdown Together). We learnt restraint techniques as Ryan was becoming bigger and stronger.

Life changing decision. 2005 was not a good year as they go. In fact it all started in November 2004, the 5th to be exact when Dadi Skilts (DS) was rushed to hospital. He had been ill for most of the preceding year and thought he had discovered a brilliant new diet where you drank litres of water and lost loads of weight (although you had zero energy and slept most of your life away). I assured him women across the world would have sussed that one, millennia ago. I don’t know why, but I encouraged him to get a diabetes test as the local pharmacy were offering free ones. After copious nagging and most likely just to shut me up, he went; but unfortunately it appeared their test kit was faulty because it gave a stupidly high reading and it was suggested he should visit his GP for a more reliable test. More nagging and an eventual Doctors visit on that fateful day once again showed a reading so stupidly high that the Dr thought his machine was also broken until DS commented that wa

After Maternity Leave I finished my statutory maternity leave during 2012 and it was time to return, once again, to the world of work. Ryan enrolled in Private Day Nursery where his brother already attended and positively thrived. Ryan got on well to begin with, they were pleased that Ryan already had a routine. He went every day from 8am – 6pm. It wasn't long however that cracks began to show. The term I heard on an almost daily basis was ‘ He’s a busy child isn’t he ’. This became the most over used phrase known in Ryan’s life over the next 5 years. Ryan wouldn't settle, wouldn't eat, wouldn't interact with the other children. I began getting more and more calls asking to collect him. I wasn’t enjoying generally not seeing my children for long hours. They were spending longer at Day Care then at home  with us . I asked work to be considered for flexi hours, my boss said to me “We dictate your hours, not you. You chose to have children so you choose between wor

Hi I'm Ryan.   I used to play Xbox and games like Call of Duty and Minecraft. Other games are available. Now I am a PC gamer. I play Warframe, Terraria and CSGO. I am not religious, I used to have Asthma, I am hyper-mobile which means I can dislocate my thumb and roll my belly muscles. I can move my diaphragm downwards at least I think that’s what it is. I remember Nanny and Granddads’ house in Birmingham with the humongous stairs. There were about 5 flights, but I don’t remember my own home. I don’t really remember the 1st house we lived in when we moved to Wales, but I do remember there was a snow day and we played outside. I sort of remember the farm house though. At the second house we moved to in Wales there was a pigsty and a little cubby hole in the middle of the stairs. I was probably the worst behaved child in the entire school. I only really remember one of the teachers with many names, Evil Edna, The Soul Taker, Mrs Reaper. I trashed the year 2 class room. I thr

Once upon a Saturday morning.  10 November 2001, only hours after leaving my job on the Friday evening to start my maternity leave, I gave birth to my second son. For the previous nine months I had convinced myself that I was having a girl. I already had a wonderful son and a little girl would complete our small family perfectly. I didn't even have a boy's name picked, so when the midwife congratulated my disgustingly easily labour and invited me to say hello to my beautiful new son my first reaction was total shock and my first words were (yes I am almost embarrassed to say) "I didn't order a boy, I am having a girl, her name is Megan. Can you send him back?" Of course, this shock only lasted a matter of seconds for the moment the midwife placed him in my arms I was hooked to this utterly gorgeous bundle of tiny awesomeness. I cannot pinpoint the day or time exactly when I started to suspect that things were slightly amiss, but very early on in Ryan's li